What i learned during my make-up free week
So i decided to go make-up free for one week. And two really good friends of mine (and co-workers) decided to do the same. And here we are, no make up for an entire week. Now some of you might think: “WOW, you saved the world didn’t you? Writing a blog about one make up free week. How shallow are you?”
Yes i am shallow and i am very deep at the same time. I have my moments, i am a Gemini after all. No i did not change the world, but i learned some stuff about myself, about self-love and about other people during this week. So i changed another world, i slightly changed my world as well as how i look at myself.
Why would i decide not to put any make-up on my skin for one week?
I have an early morning yoga practice which means that every morning it feels as if i am moving from my apartment. I have hair products, make-up, perfume, hygiene products, shower gel, lotions, towels, clothing, a suit or a dress, two pair of shoes (because i cannot wear sneakers to work, but at the same time i cannot go on heels to the yoga shala)… well long story short, it literally feels as if i am moving. And every morning after the shower i find myself (in good company of course) in front of the mirror putting on make-up and at the same time wondering:
What the hell am i doing? Here i was practicing yogasana for over two hours and now i am using 30 minutes getting ready. What is this? I could use those minutes to meditate. And why do i do this? So that people would look at me in a certain way? So that the society will approve of me? Will the society actually ever approve of me? Taking into account that i am already in my 30s, not married, not even looking for a boyfriend, i do not want kids, i have a 3 to 4 hours daily practice, i read tarot cards and believe in reincarnation… Then for fucks sake, the society will never approve of me anyways.
So if it is not for the society, and it is not for me, who am i doing this for? Why putting on make-up in the first place?” And i believe i found the answer.
I put on make-up because generally speaking i cannot accept me as i am. And if i cannot accept of me,how can others accept me? A part of me actually believes that i will be able to accept who i am, if i manage to be a better version of myself! And make-up makes me look better. That’s what it is all about! Self-acceptance.
So i decided to learn to accept myself no matter what! With or without make-up. And thus the decision not to wear any make-up for one week and see what would happen.
So what did happen?
Going around without make-up made me so self-conscious. In reality I was more worried about people’s reactions than i would like to admit.
On Sunday evening (my first no make-up day) i met my really good friend Chris who actually told me: “But you look beautiful without make up. You actually look like a whore with make-up on!” Coming from such a direct person like Chris, i now this was a compliment and this boosted my self-confidence a bit.
So the conversation goes like this:
Me: Yeah you say that coz you are a guy. You do not see the difference really.
Chris: Well if guys do not see the difference, and you are straight, why do you put on make-up then?
Me: Hmmm i guess i do it for the girls? I guess it is some type of competition or something…
Chris: So you look like a whore to impress other whores?
Love his sincerity. It always puts things into perspective
Still, going to the office for the first time in almost 4 years without make-up was not easy. The first day was the toughest, then you maybe start getting used to it little by little. Nevertheless, a feeling of nakedness would take over from time to time, especially in customer meetings. But the clients did not seem to care though… And neither did my co-workers
Since people have the tendency to forget things, and i am not an exception to this rule, i decided to make a list of the comments i got during this week. And here it comes:
- You look tired
- I didn’t even notice you did not have any make up on
- You look good without
- But you have some make up on you… You have used something on the eyebrows
- You look fresh
- You look so much younger
- Are you really make up free
- You look beautiful
- So nice you look without make-up
- Hmmm…let me see… You look quite fresh
- You do not actually look that bad
- I am looking forward to you having some make-up on (he was joking :))
- Go put on some make-up 😛
So if the clients did not care, and my co-workers did not care either, and the comments were quite positive (with the exception of one)… then the only one caring about this issue was me. I had created this issue in my mind, and it was about me, created by me, only for me. Just coz i could not accept of me and could not love me as i was. I had certain expectations about my looks, and where there are expectations there cannot be love.
What i learned?
How i felt during this week made me realize lots about me and about self love. But during my interactions with my co-workers i realized how lots of women are putting themselves under the pressure of looking in a certain way… So many of us would never dare not to put make-up on their skin. And it makes me sad. I just want to give a long hug to all of the women out there and tell them that they are good enough, that they are pretty enough, that their value is way beyond what they think they see in the mirror.
Since it is physically impossible to do that, i am being satisfied with just giving a loving hug to myself today. And repeating to myself: “I love you! And you are amazing just as you are”!